I’ve always been pretty tough on new people that come into my life. Unless you gave me a good reason to like you, I was completely indifferent to your existence and would usually pay you no mind.
This year, I was going to give people a break, though, and see where it lead me. I decided to treat everyone like a friend and continue with that until they gave me a reason not to like them.
Then, in March, I wrote that, for the first time in my life, I am friends with someone who I do not like. I thought that “friendship” wouldn’t last much longer than that revelation. I rethought it though, and decided that it would be worth continuing because my feelings might change. However, my feelings have not changed and it’s a feeling I have about more than just one person.
I really didn’t know what to do. I felt obligated to continue the friendships because I had carried them on for this long and obviously developed some sort of relationship with them. I also thought that maybe I was just resorting to my old, “mean” self. Then, last week, I was reminded that don’t need to be everyone’s friend and that it’s worse to carry on a fake friendship then to just move on.
I kind of took it to an extreme and gave people a few too many chances. I’ve tried much too hard to maintain friendships that have no benefit to me. They are slightly toxic and bring no positivity to my life. I don’t enjoy their company and I’ve found myself extremely annoyed by them several times. None of these things lead to a good friendship for either party.
I’m not going to confront these “friends” and tell them that I don’t want to be their friend because I find them X, Y and Z. I don’t find it necessary and I think that would be mean. Instead, I’ll just back away from them and keep them as acquaintances.
So here ends that phase…may it rest in peace. From now on, I will approach everyone with a healthy mix of attitudes. Just call me “cautiously optimistic.”