You’re Not My Friend

I’ve always been pretty tough on new people that come into my life.  Unless you gave me a good reason to like you, I was completely indifferent to your existence and would usually pay you no mind.

This year, I was going to give people a break, though, and see where it lead me.  I decided to treat everyone like a friend and continue with that until they gave me a reason not to like them.

Then, in March, I wrote that, for the first time in my life, I am friends with someone who I do not like.  I thought that “friendship” wouldn’t last much longer than that revelation.  I rethought it though, and decided that it would be worth continuing because my feelings might change.  However, my feelings have not changed and it’s a feeling I have about more than just one person.

I really didn’t know what to do.  I felt obligated to continue the friendships because I had carried them on for this long and obviously developed some sort of relationship with them.  I also thought that maybe I was just resorting to my old, “mean” self.  Then, last week, I was reminded that  don’t need to be everyone’s friend and that it’s worse to carry on a fake friendship then to just move on.

I kind of took it to an extreme and gave people a few too many chances.  I’ve tried much too hard to maintain friendships that have no benefit to me.  They are slightly toxic and bring no positivity to my life.  I don’t enjoy their company and I’ve found myself extremely annoyed by them several times.  None of these things lead to a good friendship for either party.

I’m not going to confront these “friends” and tell them that I don’t want to be their friend because I find them X, Y and Z.  I don’t find it necessary and I think that would be mean.  Instead, I’ll just back away from them and keep them as acquaintances.

So here ends that phase…may it rest in peace.  From now on, I will approach everyone with a healthy mix of attitudes.  Just call me “cautiously optimistic.”

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4 thoughts on “You’re Not My Friend

  1. Friend breakups are difficult. I just did a mass cleaning of my friend closet, and while it was difficult to part ways with some of them since they did bring me joy at some point, it was essential to have a life filled with people who bring me up, and not let me down.

    Good for you, lady. I hope it all works out for you.

  2. Geesh. It was just a joke, I didn’t even really bop you with the door either.

    I’ll take the hint. 😛

    Shit, my sarcasm doesn’t work right in text.

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